"New KPI: Staying Awake" Funny Retirement Candle – White Edition

Name: "New KPI: Staying Awake" Funny Retirement Candle – White Edition
Price: 24.99 USD
Availability: InStock

A Performance Metric They Can Finally Hit

Turn years of corporate pressure into the ultimate retirement perk. Featuring a humorous red snoozing icon (ZZZ) , this retirement candle assigns them a brand new performance goal: "New KPI: Staying awake past lunch." It’s a hilarious jab for the colleague who always nodded off in 2 PM meetings or constantly stressed over metrics.

A bright white background that perfectly highlights the red snooze icon and sleek typography.

How to Customize

Custom Name: Add their name to the signature line.
Quote Tweak: The default quote can be slightly adjusted to match their specific office habits.

Beyond the laughs, this is a genuinely high-quality candle designed to help them unwind.
Clean Burn: Poured with a 100% natural soy wax blend and finished with a 100% cotton wick.
Safe & Non-Toxic: 100% vegan and natural. You won't find any lead, plastics, parabens, synthetic dyes, or phthalates here.
Vintage Aesthetic: Housed in a classic amber glass jar. Once the candle is gone, simply wash the jar out and reuse it as shelf decor or a small planter.
Tailored to Their Taste: Available in 4oz and 9oz sizes. Pick from a variety of amazing fragrances (like warm Cinnamon Vanilla or fresh White Sage + Lavender). Not a fan of fragrances? We have an Unscented option, too. (Note: The wax color remains the same across all scent choices).
Assembled in the USA: Carefully put together and shipped right from the US, using premium globally sourced parts.
ASTM Certified: Fully compliant with international ASTM safety standards, so you can gift with total peace of mind.
Always burn within sight. Never leave a burning candle unattended.
Keep away from anything that can catch fire.
Keep out of reach of children and pets.

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Shipping, Returns & Support

Here’s what you need to know about your Dan Customify order.

Your Order Journey

Processing Time: Custom orders ship within 1-2 business days after your design approval.
Shipping Costs:
- Canada & U.S.: Enjoy FREE shipping!
- Other Regions: Please contact service@dancustomify.com or use live chat for a shipping quote.
Delivery Time: Expect your personalized gift to arrive within 7-14 business days from your order date. A tracking number will be provided.

Returns & Refunds

Design Approval Guarantee: Not in love with the design preview? Request a full refund before production begins — no questions asked.
Custom Products: Once produced, custom items are not returnable unless defective or misprinted.
Defective/Misprinted Items: If your order arrives damaged, defective, or misprinted, we will replace it for free within 30 days of delivery. To request, email service@dancustomify.com with your order number, details, and photos. We will cover return shipping costs for approved defective items.
Refunds: If you prefer a refund over a replacement for defective items, we will process it within 30 days to your original payment method.

Need Help?

Our customer support team is ready to assist with your personalization and any questions.
Contact Us: Email service@dancustomify.com or use our website's live chat in the bottom right corner.