"New KPI: Staying Awake" Funny Retirement Candle – White Edition
A Performance Metric They Can Finally Hit
Turn years of corporate pressure into the ultimate retirement perk. Featuring a humorous red snoozing icon (ZZZ) , this candle assigns them a brand new performance goal: "New KPI: Staying awake past lunch." It’s a hilarious jab for the colleague who always nodded off in 2 PM meetings or constantly stressed over metrics.
White Edition: A bright white background that perfectly highlights the red snooze icon and sleek typography.
How to Customize
- Custom Name: Add their name to the signature line.
- Quote Tweak: The default quote can be slightly adjusted to match their specific office habits.
Beyond the laughs, this is a genuinely high-quality candle designed to help them unwind.
- Clean Burn: Poured with a 100% natural soy wax blend and finished with a 100% cotton wick.
- Safe & Non-Toxic: 100% vegan and natural. You won't find any lead, plastics, parabens, synthetic dyes, or phthalates here.
- Vintage Aesthetic: Housed in a classic amber glass jar. Once the candle is gone, simply wash the jar out and reuse it as shelf decor or a small planter.
- Tailored to Their Taste: Available in 4oz and 9oz sizes. Pick from a variety of amazing fragrances (like warm Cinnamon Vanilla or fresh White Sage + Lavender). Not a fan of fragrances? We have an Unscented option, too. (Note: The wax color remains the same across all scent choices).
