260+ Funny Quotes and Sayings to Instantly Upgrade Your Gifts

Introduction

Gift-giving is stressful, right? You finally pick the perfect item, only to stare at a blank card, and that’s another kind of stress, right? We all know that the right words can turn a good gift into a memorable, personal one. The problem is, coming up with those words is hard. Right?

If you answered "yes" to all three questions, then this guide is your new resource for ideas. We will explore the best funny quotes you can use. Whether you need an idea for a blank note or a witty line to print on a personalized gift, this article is your starting point.

Of course, if you’re looking for more than just quotes and want to see a wide range of funny gift ideas, our guide to Funny Personalized Gift Ideas & Stories can give you even more inspiration.

Now, let's get started. This guide is organized by occasion and humor style, making it easy to find the perfect line.

The Quote Library: Funny Quotes & Sayings for Every Gift Occasion

Funny Birthday Quotes & Wishes

• Happy Birthday! I'd tell you to act your age, but no one should have to endure that much crankiness.

• You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. I brought a fire extinguisher just in case.

• Happy Birthday! I was going to get you something that makes you look young, but a time machine was way out of my budget.

• Cheers to you! We're like fine wine – we get better with age. You, my friend, are approaching vinegar status. Still useful, though!

• Don't think of it as getting older. Think of it as upgrading to a premium, limited-edition model with... more interesting glitches.

• Happy Birthday! My gift to you is not mentioning how much you spent on your birthday last year. You're welcome.

• I'd make a joke about your age, but I'm afraid you might forget the punchline. Let's just eat cake.

• They say wisdom comes with age. Sometimes age shows up all by itself. Looking at you, my wise, wise friend.

• Happy Birthday! I'm so glad you were born. Because otherwise, who would I mock relentlessly?

• You're not aging. You're just becoming a classic, like a vinyl record or a dial-up internet connection.

• For your birthday, I got you this very expensive card. The gift is that I didn't sing "Happy Birthday" to you. You're welcome.

• Happy Birthday! Let's party so hard that we forget how old we're turning. My back already forgot, it's killing me.

• Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. And frankly, it's starting to ask for a refund.

• Happy Birthday to someone who's smart, generous, and all-around amazing! (I'm reading this off the card, by the way, I don't actually believe it.)

• You're not 40. You're 18 with 22 years of hazardous life experience.

• I was going to get you a birthday present, but then I thought, "What do you get for the person who is slowly falling apart?"

• Happy Birthday! My wish for you is that all your candles blow out on the first try. We both know your lungs need the win.

• Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake. And nature is one boss I actually listen to.

• Congratulations on surviving another trip around the sun without getting yourself canceled.

• You're not getting older, you're just increasing your value as a vintage collectible. Now please stop moving, the dust is settling.

For Your Best Friend

• Happy Birthday! Thanks for being the reason I look so sane by comparison.

• I bought us matching friendship bracelets. Mine says "Best," yours says "Friend." Wait, I think I got them mixed up again.

• A true friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. And then mock you relentlessly for forgetting.

• We've been friends for so long, that when we met, I actually liked you. Weird, right?

• Cheers to the friend who knows all my secrets, has seen all my mistakes, and still hasn't figured out a way to blackmail me effectively.

• I don't know what's older, our friendship or the leftover pizza in your fridge. Both are kinda moldy but I'm too invested to let go.

• You're not my best friend because I like you. You're my best friend because everyone else is worse.

• Remember, no matter how old we get, I'll always be younger than you. This is my favorite fact.

• Our friendship is like a fine wine. It gets better with age. And occasionally gives me a headache the next day.

• I'm so glad we're friends. If not, all the dirt I have on you would just be creepy stalking.

• You're the cheese to my macaroni, the weird to my awkward, and the one I'll call to bail me out.

• A best friend is someone who will help you move. A true best friend will help you move a body. I know you've got my back.

• I was going to give you a piece of my mind for your birthday, but I see you're already running low. Here's a card instead.

• We've been through everything together. Mostly you going through crazy phases and me documenting them for future blackmail.

• Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest. It's about who was crazy enough to stick around. Clearly, you're stuck with me.

• You're my favorite person to hate with. And my least favorite person to share fries with.

• They say you can't choose your family. Thank God I got to choose you. My family is weird enough.

• Life is better with you, and not just because you usually drive.

• Happy Birthday to the person I would trust with my password... but not my leftovers.

• Here's to many more years of friendship, questionable decisions, and blaming everything on each other.

For Your Sibling

• Honestly, you turning out this normal is a real testament to Mom and Dad's parenting. (Mostly.)

• We used to fight over the remote control. Now I just let you have it. It's easier than watching you try to figure out the new TV.

• You're my favorite sibling. (Disclaimer: This statement is legally binding only if you are, in fact, an only child.)

• Thanks for always being there for me. Especially that time you told Mom it was totally my idea. I'll never forget that.

• They say you can't choose your family. But if I could, I'd probably keep you. The return policy is a nightmare.

• Remember when we were kids and I wanted a dog? Looks like I got one. (Barks uncontrollably at the mailman.)

• You're not just my brother/sister. You're my original frenemy.

• I'm so glad we're related. It gives me a legitimate excuse for why I'm also a little weird.

• To my sibling: the person who knows exactly how to push my buttons because you're the one who installed them.

• We might not always get along, but I'd still donate a kidney to you. (I'd complain the whole time, but I'd do it.)

• Happy Birthday from Mom's favorite! (Just kidding... unless?)

• You're proof that even God makes mistakes. Good thing he also made forgiveness.

• Growing up with you was like having a live-in bully who also loved me.

• I wouldn't trade you for a hundred bucks. But for 500? We might have to talk.

• Our childhood photos prove two things: 1) We were adorable. 2) You always had a better haircut and it's still unfair.

• You're the person I love to tell my secrets to, because I know you'll never remember them correctly enough to blackmail me.

• Life gave me a sibling instead of the pony I asked for. Honestly, you require less feeding and you don't poop in the yard. So, thanks, I guess.

• They say siblings are like superheroes: There to save the day. In our case, we're usually the ones who caused the disaster that needs saving from.

• No one can make me laugh, cry, and want to commit murder all in the same minute quite like you can.

• Happy Birthday to the only person on earth who understands our family's unique level of crazy. We'll get through this together. Probably.

For When They're Getting... 'Vintage' (aka Old Age Jokes)

• Don't worry about getting old. You can still do all the stupid things you did when you were young, you'll just be a little slower.

• As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Happy Birthday!

• Happy Birthday! You're not getting older, you're just upgrading to a classic edition. Limited wear, some minor bugs, but overall a great model.

• You know you're vintage when your back goes out more than you do.

• Don't worry about your age. You're like a fine wine, a classic car, or dial-up internet... slowly becoming more valuable because no one knows how you work anymore.

• Cheers to you! At your age, you're not losing your memory... you're just conducting a scientific experiment on how much one brain can forget. So far, the results are impressive.

• Happy Birthday! I'd ask what you want to do to celebrate, but I know it involves being home by 9 PM.

• You're at a great age. You've finally reached the "I don't care what people think" stage. Mostly because you can't see or hear them well enough to know what they're thinking.

• Aging is like software updates. Everything takes longer, there are weird new glitches, and you never quite know what you're agreeing to.

• You're not "old," you're just retro. Like vinyl records, Polaroid cameras, and knowing how to write in cursive.

• The great thing about being your age is that you can hide your own Easter eggs.

• Happy Birthday! Let's party like it's 1999! (But maybe just until 8:30, I've got a thing tomorrow.)

• You know you're vintage when you remember when "streaming" was something you did with a garden hose.

• Don't think of them as wrinkles. Think of them as laugh lines, worry lines, or... well, mostly as proof of gravity's unwavering commitment to its job.

• At your age, you're not "getting lost," you're just taking spontaneous scenic detours. (Please turn on your location sharing.)

• You're like a museum exhibit: incredibly valuable, should be preserved at all costs, and occasionally people walk around you whispering.

• Happy Birthday! I was going to get you a smart home device, but I know you'd just argue with it. And lose.

• They say age brings wisdom. So far, it's mostly brought a need for reading glasses and a deeper appreciation for naps.

• You're not "out of touch," you're "selectively connected." Preferring landlines, handwritten letters, and not being available 24/7.

• Your brain is like a browser with too many tabs open. Some are frozen, you can't remember why you opened half of them, and it all runs really, really slow.

• Celebrating another year of you being you! Slightly creakier, infinitely wiser (debatable), and still the only person who remembers my password hints.

• Welcome to the age where your "get up and go" has got up and gone. But hey, your "sit down and stay" is still going strong!

Hilarious Christmas & Holiday Sayings

• Merry Christmas! My gift to you is not asking what you paid for it. You're welcome.

• I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the weather doesn't cooperate, I'll just settle for a Christmas with fully charged electronics and no family arguments.

• Cheers! It's the season of giving. And also the season of receiving. But mostly the season of eating everything in sight.

• My favorite Christmas exercise is running out of excuses to avoid my relatives.

• Santa Claus has the right idea: Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

• This holiday, let's forget the past and start anew. Especially that thing you said to me at Thanksgiving. I'm still watching you, though.

• I hope my good looks and charming personality don't distract you from the fact that I still expect a really nice present.

• Nothing gets me into the Christmas spirit like the fear of disappointing everyone with my gifts.

• I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. It's a Christmas tradition.

• The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by handing out gifts that are clearly re-gifted.

• My Christmas diet consists of: 1. Cookies. 2. Regret. 3. More cookies to ease the regret.

• Santa's elves are nothing but a cheap labor force. Discuss.

• It's Christmas! Time to eat your body weight in cheese logs and pretend you'll start a diet in January.

• I got you a present that says, "I don't know what you like, but I also refuse to ask."

• Let's make this the year we finally stop trying to make the "perfect" holiday happen and just enjoy the beautifully mediocre one we actually have.

• The three stages of Christmas baking: 1. Ambition. 2. Regret. 3. Ordering takeout.

• Christmas is the only time we cheerfully pile into a car to go see people we spend the rest of the year avoiding online.

• I'm not saying my family is loud... but our Christmas carols come with a noise complaint from the neighbors.

• This holiday, may your WiFi be strong, your batteries be full, and your relatives be mildly impressed by your life choices.

• Pro tip: If you drink enough eggnog, all Christmas sweaters become ugly Christmas sweaters.

For Family Gatherings

• Family reunion: Where we all get together to see who got fat, who got bald, and who's still weird. Glad to see you're checking all the boxes.

• I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately explaining why my childhood version of events is the correct one.

• This family runs on love, laughter, and a massive amount of passive aggression. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

• Our family tree is full of nuts. And I'm just trying to fall far enough from it to look normal.

• Family: where they have to take you in no matter what. And believe me, I've tested this theory.

• Cheers to the only people in the world I'd help hide a body for. (And also the people most likely to get me into a situation where I'd need one hidden.)

• I'm here for the free food and to disappoint you with my life choices. Let's dig in!

• It's not a real family gathering until someone brings up politics and someone else threatens to leave.

• We might not have it all together, but together, we have it all. And by "it all," I mean a shared history of trauma and inside jokes.

• I see we're all using the same strategy: smile, nod, and secretly plan our escape route.

• My goal for this gathering is to be less of a disappointment than I was at the last one. The bar is low, people.

• Family is like fudge: mostly sweet, but with a few nuts.

• No one does guilt trips like family. We should have frequent flyer miles.

• I'm just here to make sure I'm still in the will.

• Let's all take a moment to appreciate that we managed to assemble this many relatives without anyone calling the police. So far.

• The family that eats together, debates together, and silently judges each other's life choices together.

• I've learned that most of my family's problems stem from not enough listening and too much talking. But since no one is listening, I'll just keep talking.

• Home is where they have to take you in. Family is who drives you to drink.

• Our family doesn't need a therapist. We just need a referee and a bartender.

• At the end of the day, we're all stuck with each other. So pass the potatoes and let's pretend we like it.

For Office Gift Exchanges & Secret Santa

• For my Secret Santa: I asked for a promotion. This [gift] is... certainly a choice. Thanks!

• I followed the $15 limit to the letter. I even have the receipt to prove it. You're welcome.

• This gift is exactly what you didn't know you didn't need.

• I hope you like this! It's either a thoughtful gift or a re-gift from last year. The mystery is part of the fun!

• Cheers to the company-mandated fun! And the gift that will live in your desk drawer until next year's gift exchange.

• This candle/coffee mug/notebook set is a testament to our professional relationship: Pleasant, useful, and completely nonspecific.

• I got you something that says, "I don't know you well, but HR said we have to do this."

• May your holiday season be as stress-free as finding this gift was for me. (It was very stress-free.)

• This is a genuine, one-of-a-kind gift. (Available in bulk on Amazon.)

• I was going to get you something personal, but then I remembered that one weird email you sent me in July, so here's a generic gift card instead.

• This gift is 100% thought-free! Just like our best meetings.

• I promise I didn't just grab this from the "Free Stuff" table near the breakroom.

• Here's to a gift that won't end up in HR! Probably.

• This is the gift of not having to make small talk about a gift. You're welcome.

• I channeled my inner corporate spirit: It's generic, inoffensive, and comes with a motivational quote. You'll love it.

• I got you something to enhance your workspace. Or to contribute to its clutter. Perspective is everything.

• This gift is like our project deadlines: It exists, and that's what matters.

• May your New Year be as productive as you were while shopping for this gift on company time.

• I chose this gift because it reminded me of you: It was on sale.

• It's not about the gift, it's about the thought. And the thought was, "The limit is $15."

Witty Quotes for Anniversaries & Valentine's Day

• Happy Anniversary! They say it's bad luck to forget your anniversary... but I think the real bad luck is me trying to guess what you want.

• I love you more than pizza. And that's saying something, because I really, really love pizza. (But please don't make me choose.)

• Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm bad at poetry, so here's a gift card for you.

• Happy Valentine's Day! My love for you is like a software update: sometimes annoying, but ultimately necessary and full of new, weird bugs I didn't expect.

• Another year down! They say marriage is a journey, but honestly, it's more like being lost in IKEA with someone you really like.

• I got you this Valentine's card because the one that said "You're tolerable" was sold out.

• Cheers to us! For keeping the flame alive... or at least for remembering where we left the fire extinguisher.

• You're the cheese to my macaroni, the Netflix to my chill, and the one I complain to about the Netflix algorithm.

• I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I'm avoiding you by hiding in the bathroom with my phone.

• We're like a fine wine and cheese: we get better with age, and we occasionally give each other indigestion.

• My love for you is unconditional. The Wi-Fi password, however, is not.

• You're my favorite reason to cancel other plans.

• After all these years, you still take my breath away. Mostly because you still don't take out the trash.

• They say love is blind. Thank God, because I'm not sure I could handle you seeing all of my browser history.

• You're the person I want to text when something weird happens. Which is the highest form of love I can offer.

• I don't know who I'd be without you, but I'd probably be a lot better at making decisions about where to eat.

• Our love story is my favorite. Mostly because it's the only one I can remember without checking my Notes app.

• You're the bacon to my eggs, the error message to my failed download, and the one I want to be quarantined with forever.

• I didn't get you a gift because our love is priceless. And also because I forgot.

• Here's to another year of love, laughter, and figuring out whose turn it is to drive.

Humorous Messages for Graduations & New Jobs

• Congrats Grad! Your reward for years of hard work is this diploma and a lifetime of student loan payments. You earned them both!

• Welcome to the real world! It's like the college cafeteria, but the mystery meat is in your paycheck.

• On your first day of work, remember: Everyone is rooting for you! (Mostly because if you figure it out, they can finally dump that work on you and go home early.)

• A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

• You're now entitled to refer to the past four years as "the best years of your life." No pressure.

• New job advice: The first to arrive, the last to leave. Or just really good at faking activity when the boss walks by. Either works.

• Congrats on the new job! Remember, every "opportunity for growth" is just a fancy way of saying "you're going to be doing a lot of work for not a lot of money... for now."

• The tassel was worth the hassle! (But was it worth the $80,000? We'll discuss that later.)

• Your mission today is to find the coffee machine, the bathroom, and which meetings you can skip. You got this.

• They say do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. They also say that, statistically, "they" have no idea what they're talking about.

• Go out there and change the world! Or just change your LinkedIn headline. That's fine too.

• Now that you're a graduate, people will stop asking what your major is and start asking what your plan is. Good luck with that!

• The great thing about a new job is the learning curve. It's like a rollercoaster: terrifying, nauseating, and you might scream a little. But it's a ride!

• Remember in school when they said there are no stupid questions? That was a lie. But at work, you should still ask them anyway, before you break something expensive.

• You've graduated from all-nighters for exams to all-nighters for deadlines. Progress!

• Your degree is your ticket to the show. Now you get to find out that most of the show is just waiting in line for the bathroom.

• I'd give you advice for your career, but I'm currently hiding from my own boss in the supply closet, so...

• May your new job have free coffee, strong WiFi, and a boss who is on vacation a lot.

• Don't be afraid to start at the bottom. It's the best place to learn how to hide from everyone above you.

• So, your 20s are for building your career and your 30s are for building your family. That's cool. My 20s are for figuring out how to use the office printer.

Find Your Comedic Voice: Quotes by Humor Style

Witty & Clever Quotes for the Thinker

• I think, therefore I am. I overthink, therefore I am confused.

• They say great minds think alike. Thankfully, fools rarely differ. This explains most of the internet.

• The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Strategy is everything.

• I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. Philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.

• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

• The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to figure out the return policy.

• I'm not procrastinating. I'm just conducting a lengthy cost-benefit analysis on the necessity of doing that thing.

• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

• The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never be sure if they are genuine. — Abraham Lincoln

• I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I overanalyze it.

• The universe is made of protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons. And the morons are way louder.

• I don't need an inspirational quote. I need a plausible excuse and a strong coffee.

• My brain has too many tabs open. Some are frozen, some are playing weird music, and I can't find the one I need.

• I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... in a louder voice.

• The only thing I know is that I know nothing. And that that makes me smarter than most people on Facebook.

• I'm not a control freak. Now, could you please rearrange those items by color, size, and perceived emotional value? Thanks.

• Life is like a metaphor. I'm not sure how yet, but I'm working on a 10,000-word essay to figure it out.

• I have a degree in philosophy. Would you like me to explain the existential dread behind your choice of fries over salad?

Sarcastic & Dry Humor for the Realist

• I'm not cynical. I'm just experienced beyond my years. And my years are pretty experienced.

• I'm an optimist, but only because I've planned for the worst-case scenario and it didn't happen. Yet.

• The glass isn't half empty or half full. It's just twice as big as it needs to be. And someone's going to have to wash it.

• I don't have a negative attitude. I have a proven track record of being right about things being terrible.

• I believe in miracles. I just also believe they have a very high deductible.

• Follow your dreams! Or, you know, follow the job that offers dental insurance. Whatever's easier.

• It is what it is. Which is usually not great.

• I'm not saying I want to give up, I'm just incredibly interested in what would happen if I did.

• My expectations were low, but wow, you really found the basement.

• I'm not lazy. I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like a very smart, unattractive smartphone.

• This is fine. (Often accompanied by a picture of a dog sitting in a burning room.)

• I've cancelled my subscription to your issues.

• I'm not arguing. I'm just explaining why you're wrong in a way that sounds like arguing.

• I'm not late. Everyone else is just unreasonably early and has too much free time.

• I'm not a failure. I'm just a beta test for a much more successful person later on.

• I'm not procrastinating. I'm actively delaying the inevitable disappointment.

• I'm not shy. I'm just better at peopleing online.

• I'm not lost. I'm on an unplanned exploratory detour. Without a map. Or hope.

• My spirit animal is a sloth that just realized it left the oven on.

• I don't need your drama. I have enough of my own, and it's better written.

Puns & Wordplay That Are So Bad, They're Good

• I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.

• I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

• Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

• I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

• What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

• I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

• Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

• I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.

• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

• What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

• Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

• I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

• Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.

• I told my computer I needed a break. Now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.

• What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

Iconic & Quotable Lines from TV & Movies

• "Am I a person to be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott, The Office

• "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott, The Office

• "Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." - Jim Halpert, The Office

• "That's what she said." - Michael Scott, The Office

• "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" - Chandler Bing, Friends

• "PIVOT!" - Ross Geller, Friends

• "How you doin'?" - Joey Tribbiani, Friends

• "They don't know that we know they know we know." - Phoebe Buffay, Friends

• "Treat yo' self." - Donna Meagle & Tom Haverford, Parks and Recreation

• "I know what I'm about, son." - Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation

• "No soup for you!" - The Soup Nazi, Seinfeld

• "Yada, yada, yada." - Elaine Benes, Seinfeld

• "It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it." - Dorothy Zbornak, The Golden Girls

• "As if!" - Cher Horowitz, Clueless

• "On Wednesdays, we wear pink." - Karen Smith, Mean Girls

• "You go, Glen Coco!" - Damian, Mean Girls

• "I'm kind of a big deal." - Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

• "Bye, Felicia." - Ice Cube, Friday

• "I love lamp." - Brick Tamland, Anchorman

• "You're supposed to put the new cover sheet on the TPS reports." - Bill Lumbergh, Office Space (This is a much more iconic "work culture" line than the procrastination one).

From Quote to Creation: Personalizing Your Funny Gift

If you've read this far, you probably have some great ideas. Now it's time to make them real. A personalized quote can turn an ordinary object like a mug, a t-shirt, or a phone case into a special, unique, and personal gift. Our customizable products are the perfect place to show off your sense of humor.

Below, we’ll show you how to pair some of these quotes with our personalized products to help you get started.

The Snarky, Magical, Color-Changing Mug

Quote: Remember, no matter how old we get, I'll always be younger than you. This is my favorite fact.

This color changing mug is great for surprises. At first, it’s just a plain black mug. But when you pour in a hot beverage, your custom design and inside joke magically appear! Imagine your best friend’s face when a simple mug reveals this “friendly” reminder about their age. That moment of surprise will be priceless.

Create your own funny mug

The Self-Deprecating Personalized Tee/Sweatshirt

Quote: When you get old, three things go. First, your memory. And I can’t remember the other two.

Wear your humor and make a statement. This t-shirt is more than just clothing; it shows off your personality. You can print this brilliant self deprecating joke about memory on it, or swap it for any witty line you love. Let this shirt do the talking and connect with everyone who shares your sense of humor.

Design your own hilarious T-shirt

The Funny Scented Candle for Stress Relief

Quote: Light me instead of the house. Smells better than arson.

This candle uses dark humor to provide a more peaceful (and better-smelling) solution to a bad day. When your partner sees this after an argument, it’s sure to make them laugh. Pick your favorite scent, add your own unique line, and turn it into the perfect tool for de-stressing.

Shop our personalized scented candles

The Custom Funny Quote Phone Case

Quote: Happy Birthday! I was going to get you a smart home device, but I know you'd just argue with it. And lose.

Print this birthday jab at your stubborn friend on a case, or choose any other line you love. I guarantee your friend will have a laugh every time they pick up their phone. LOL.

Customize your funny quote phone case

The Pink Socks with a Funny Face

Inspired by: On Wednesdays, we wear pink. from the movie Mean Girls.

This time, we didn't use the quote directly; we used its spirit. We created pink socks meant to be worn on Wednesdays, customized with a hilarious face. The text just says Wednesday. If you want to playfully tease a male best friend, this is it. Get this for him and have him wear these pink socks on a Wednesday!

Create your own inside joke for your feet

The Custom Tumbler for Your Best Friend

Quote: Cheers to the friend who knows all my secrets, has seen all my mistakes, and still hasn't figured out a way to blackmail me effectively.

A tumbler with your shared history is a great sign of your friendship. Give this ineffective blackmail line to your bestie, or add an embarrassing photo of you two to the other side, and give them a reason to laugh out loud every time they take a sip.

Customize a tumbler for your best friend

The Custom Birthday Card

Quote: No one can make me laugh, cry, and want to commit murder all in the same minute quite like you can.

Inside of the greeting card

Cover of the greeting card

Among a pile of gifts, a well designed custom card is often the main event. And if you draw it yourself, even better! Ditch the generic greetings and get creative. Write something mysterious on the front like, "Think twice before opening..." and then hit them with this loving ultimate takedown on the inside, paired with a silly photo of you two. This turns a simple card into a fun experience. You don't have to buy a custom card, of course you can always DIY one for free. The idea is my gift to you!

Design a card that's funnier than the gift

Ready to Create Your Perfect Gag Gift?

If you're ready to make your idea a reality, head straight to our shop and start designing your gift now!

Explore All Funny Personalized Gifts on Dan Customify

What's the funniest one-liner you've ever put on a gift? Share it in the comments below! The most creative one will get a free custom design service!