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Creating a Cat Memorial Ceremony at Home: A Guide to Honoring Your Companion

Updated: Oct 20


In my article, Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: A Heartfelt Guide to Celebrating a Beautiful Life, I told Nina's story. Perhaps you've had the same experience -- we grieve, we're heartbroken, but sometimes, friends around us don't understand the depth of that pain. Society doesn't have a set way to comfort this kind of loss. You might even hear the words, "it was just a cat" (a friend actually said this to me), which can make us feel even more isolated in our grief. This phenomenon is known in psychology as "disenfranchised grief."


But I want to tell you this: your grief is completely normal. Honoring your cherished companion in a respectful way is a powerful and healthy step in the healing process, a journey that encompasses both grief and growth.


There are many ways to remember a pet, and you've probably seen all sorts of articles recommending gifts and products. But I can't help but feel like they're just after your wallet. I want to use my own experience to show you what kind of tributes are the truest expression of love.


In this guide, I'll walk you through a simple, clear, four-step plan to help you create a cat memorial ceremony at home that is filled with love and dignity. In each section, I'll share details from the ceremony I held for my cat, Nina, for you to use as inspiration. I think if Nina knew her journey was helping you too, she'd be happy.


Step 1: Create a Sacred Space of Remembrance


When setting up your memorial space, you'll face many choices: types of items, colors, scents, custom options, and more. When you feel overwhelmed, just remember this golden rule: imagine if your cat were here. Would they love this space? If the answer is yes, you've made the right choice. If not, it might be time to swap it for something else.


First, choose a special spot for the ceremony, like a quiet corner of your living room. The size of the space doesn't matter; the feeling does. A great way to make the scene feel connected to your cat is by using photos to create custom keepsakes. Here are some elements you can consider for your space:


The Centerpiece: A Custom Portrait or Photo Frame


  • If you choose an oil painting, you can ask the artist to capture your cat's unique soul.

  • If you use a photo, try to find one that shows your cat at their happiest or most characteristic moment.

    • Photos usually need to be high-resolution for custom printing, so it's best to use the original file. Photos from modern smartphones are typically clear enough.

    • You may have posted the photo on Facebook, but I don't recommend downloading it from there if you still have the original. The downloaded image is often compressed, and the quality might not be good enough.


For Nina's ceremony, I chose a photo of her sprawled out on my desk and had it made into an oil painting. Almost every friend who came to remember her commented on how the painting perfectly captured her spirit.


Chose a photo of her sprawled out and had it made into an oil painting.

A Warm Atmosphere: Scented Candles and Soft Light


Beyond sight, scent is a powerful way to evoke memories. Consider a custom photo-scented candle. When you light it, the soft, warm glow and familiar aroma flowing around your cat's picture can create a very comforting atmosphere.


Nina loved to nap on a lavender blanket right after it came out of the dryer. It was where she felt safest and most relaxed. So, for her ceremony, I used a lavender scent. I wanted every friend who came to mourn Nina to feel that same sense of peace and ease, to make the final goodbye a little less heavy.


A Place of Rest: A Personalized Cat Urn


If you chose cremation, as I did, a beautiful urn can become a quiet companion. It will be your cat's final resting place.


At the ceremony, I had a cat-shaped urn figurine for Nina, with its tail curled around its paws—a pose Nina often took. When I catch a glimpse of it, I feel like she never left. You can also customize urns with one or more photos to deepen the connection to your memories.


A cat-shaped urn figurine, with its tail curled around its paws—a pose your cat often took.

Precious Memories: A Memory Box and Photo Garland


You can never have too many memories.


  • After your cat has crossed the Rainbow Bridge, you can gather some of their favorite toys and clothes. After a gentle cleaning, you can place them in a memory box.

  • If you have the chance, I recommend saving a lock of your cat's fur to keep in the box. When you miss them, you can touch the soft fur, just as you used to pet them.

  • During the ceremony, you can place this memory box next to their portrait, just as they used to cuddle with their toys.

  • You can also print a series of photos from different stages of your cat's life. Use binder clips and a piece of twine to string them together and hang them in a corner with the memory box. Together, they will create a wonderful corner of remembrance.


Setting the Mood: A Healing Music Playlist


The right background music during your cat memorial ceremony can be incredibly healing. You can create a Spotify playlist to play during the service.


Typically, people feel a farewell should be solemn and sad, so soft background music is common. But Nina loved excitement, so my Spotify playlist was mostly upbeat. I want her to be happy wherever she is. It's her ceremony, so what she likes is what matters most.


Here is my Spotify playlist:


  1. Here Comes The Sun- The Beatles

  2. Riptide - Vance Joy

  3. Better Together - Jack Johnson

  4. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

  5. Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

  6. Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwoʻole


Step 2: Structure a Meaningful Ceremony


Once the space is set, a simple flow can help guide your emotions instead of letting grief overwhelm you. A ceremony might include the following parts:


Opening Words and Sharing Memories


  • Opening Words: You can begin with a short poem (like "The Rainbow Bridge") or a few words of gratitude.

  • Sharing Memories: This is the heart of the ceremony. Invite family and friends to share funny stories about your cat, or read a farewell letter you've prepared.


Reading a Farewell Letter


Here is the farewell letter I wrote for Nina:


My dear little Nina,


The sun is as warm as the windowsill where you used to sleep, but when I call your name, there's no soft little body rubbing against me anymore.


I remember when you first came home, hiding in a cardboard box with just your little head peeking out. But soon you were brave enough to roll my yarn all over the room. At night, you'd curl up by my pillow, purring, making my dreams feel soft and fluffy too. Whenever I was sad, you'd always nudge my hand with your little pink nose, as if to say, "It's okay."


While cleaning my closet, a ball of yarn you chewed on fell out, still with a few of your soft hairs on it. My eyes suddenly teared up, feeling like you were still here being mischievous. But I know you've just found a new place to sleep, maybe chasing a feather toy on the clouds right now.


Thank you for giving me so many sweet moments in just a few short years. I will cherish everything about you. When we meet again, you have to be the first one to jump into my arms, okay?


With love,


A Symbolic Act: Wearing a Keepsake


You can order a custom piece of jewelry, like a bracelet or necklace, with your cat's name, photo, or a short phrase. The act of putting it on during the ceremony can be a powerful symbol of remembrance.


A custom piece of jewelry, like a bracelet or necklace, with your cat's name, photo, or a short phrase.

A Closing Activity: Lighting Candles or Folding Cranes


At the end of my ceremony, I asked my friends to do something meaningful with me. We each lit a small candle, took a moment of silence, and shared a favorite memory. For something more involved, you could invite guests to write a short message to your cat, fold it into a paper crane, and collect them in a jar.


Extra Inspiration


There are many ways to celebrate a life. In Dan's article, What If a Funeral Wasn't a Farewell? - he mentions things like Ghana's fantasy coffins and Romania's humorous headstones. I believe some of these ideas can be adapted for our furry children. You might find some extra inspiration there.


Step 3: Create a Living Tribute to Continue Their Legacy


The meaning of the ceremony can evolve from "goodbye" to "continuation." I didn't include this part in Nina's ceremony, but I wanted to offer some ideas and tips for you.


Plant a Memorial Tree or Flower


After the service, you can plant a tree or flower in your yard or a pot together, symbolizing the cycle of life and renewal. For example, you could plant sunflowers in a corner of your backyard, letting their growth become a continuation of life.


Get a Memorial Tattoo


For some, a tattoo is another way to carry on a life's memory. It keeps the memory of your cat with you for a very long time. You might consider getting a portrait of your cat near your heart, so they can always be close.


Getting a portrait of your cat near your heart, letting them beat with it forever.

Step 4: Embrace Grief & Find Professional Support


After the ceremony, the healing journey continues for most, but some may still be struggling. If you need to talk, please remember that the path of grief doesn't have to be walked alone. These compassionate, trained professionals understand the pain of pet loss and can help you process your emotions.



Conclusion: Giving Your Love a Place to Live On


Your grief is never an overreaction, and every tribute you create for your furry child is a beautiful way to honor the bond you shared. I hope this article helps you find a way to create a "continuing bond" with your pet.


The cat memorial ceremony at home I held for Nina had no complicated procedures, but it slowly helped me accept the reality of her passing. These memorial items are not for dwelling in sadness, but for giving love a place to be found.



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